Respite

Willing these moments to pass,
Looking for comfort, at last,
Why is getting through each day, such a task?
Is a little respite too much to ask?

Sorry for the dark undertones in the previous one...so those who are more in the mood for something (just a bit) more uplifting, read on:

Were we to never look back at what has precipitated in the past,
Were we to never remember things that we knew won't last,
We'd be repeating the same mistakes again soon,
So is the pain of reminiscence rightly a boon.

Life happens

Lazy saturday :)...watched a couple of movies...listing down a couple of quotes from there, that I found particularly enlightening, and trying to draw a parallel from there =>

"Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive"
We all know this is true :), and yet, there are times, when we do take life a lot more seriously than it aught to be taken. A dose of lightness in life should be a mandatory prescription for all of us. There is no point getting all too serious thinking of the past, the future, and what not, and missing out on the moment itself. Its these moments that make our life special.

"Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans"
Very nicely put. We all do have dreams, hopes and aspirations, that we strive to make real each day. Unknownst to us, while we are making our grand plans, there's something glorious (for the pessimists, just something) happening to us at every moment - LIFE. We don't realize it, but in the ending, we'll not be looking back at what we accomplished in life, but rather, at the memories we have of this journey that we undertook. Time spend with family, friends, the minor roadblocks, the overcoming of hurdles, the trials and the jubilation...these are the LEGO blocks of our life. So, perhaps, we be a little more conscious of our life unfolding, every moment...even as I write this, and you, read.

Happiness

"Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves." - Hellen Keller

Daring to dream

Note to self: Read this when not in high spirits
Note to others: Read this NOW ;)

So you've thought it through,
This is what you've got to do,
This is what was meant for you,
This is what you love in true...

But reluctant are you, to conjure dreams anew,
Scared are you: what if they shatter too?
Leaving you with but a fragments few,
So you've not exactly thought it through...

But in this fear,
Would you put off your dreaming too?
Would you rather,
Cut off a path before you tread it through?

Life is teeming with surprises new,
Your dream might just be realized too,
If only you don't nip it before giving it its due,
Arise! Awake! The world beckons you!

Have you looked into the eyes...

Of a child rebuked,
Up at you they innocently look,
A solemn promise...
I'll never fail you again,
A firm determination...
I'll make up for transgression,
A plaintive cry...
Take me in your arms,
Let bygones be.

Of a mother who must part,
From the little one she does,
Hold so near to her heart,
An outpouring of love...
Sweetie, this is for all the time I'll not be here,
A welling up of tears...
The pain of parting with a piece of my heart,
A glimmer of hope...
A brighter future awaits,
When I'll be with my child again.

Of someone who holds you dear,
When they've been hurt by you,
Complete and utter sadness...
Being let down by one I trusted,
A steely resolve...
I'll never trust you again,
A resigned acceptance...
Perhaps you were not the friend I expected you to be.

***
It is rightly said that the eyes do talk...they shout out our true feelings, and utter that which our brain doesn't permit our mouth to speak.

Of goals and the fickle heart

Once upon a time, in a city not so far away, there lived a child. Now, this child, as all other children do, had dreams - dreams that were bigger than his frame. Each night, he'd fall off to sleep, snuggled up in the warm comfort of his blanket, thinking of fulfilling them. He dreamed of growing up and becoming just like his dad. Those were the days...

Time passed, and this child grew up into a find young lad. He went to school and made great friends. He told them of his dreams, and learned about theirs in return. He listened to his teachers. They taught him of wonderful things. His knowledge of the world around him increased, and he, now dreamt of becoming a great //insert appropriate teenage dream here.

College arrived as a breath of fresh air for the young man. He interacted with people who shared the same interests as him and learnt of their take on life - of what these brilliant people thought for the future, and, surprise, surprise, his dreams changed again. He now dreamed of becoming a successful //insert appropriate career dream here.

The point I wish to drive home from this coming of age tale? The heart is fickle indeed. What we want now is bound to change in the future. Perhaps that's what life is - a journey of discovery. We expand our horizons, we change. We come in contact with people, we change. We have varied experiences, we change. Now this might go against some stuff that's been written here in the previous pages, (but then that's testimony to the correctness of what I'm writing now :)), but, it would seem that holding onto a pristine goal that you'd like to accomplish is folly. We CHANGE, and so do our goals,  our dreams, our hopes and our aspirations. Being too hung up on just one dream, all throughout life, and following it come what may, is not necessarily the best way to live life.

A life without any goals would just drift away indeed and so we do (and should) set goals for ourselves. We should work towards them diligently, no doubt, but, also, a large portion of life's experiences come from not worrying/thinking too much about the future, and, just living the present. If a goal is not aligning with where we currently stand, then so be it.

Rather than fitting your life around the goals, fit the goals around your life.

Coping with pain

Something that I read which I thought was beautifully penned, and which appears to have more than a show of truth:
***

"Perhaps the greatest faculty our minds possess is the ability to cope with pain. Classic thinking teaches us of the four doors of the mind, which everyone moves through according to their need.

First is the door of sleep. Sleep offers us a retreat from the world and all its pain. Sleep marks passing time, giving us distance from the things that have hurt us. When a person is wounded they will often fall unconscious. Similarly, someone who hears traumatic news will often swoon or faint. This is the mind’s way of protecting itself from pain by stepping through the first door.

Second is the door of forgetting. Some wounds are too deep to heal, or too deep to heal quickly. In addition, many memories are simply painful, and there is no healing to be done. The saying ‘time heals all wounds’ is false. Time heals most wounds. The rest are hidden behind this door.

Third is the door of madness. There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind.

Last is the door of death. The final resort. Nothing can hurt us after we are dead, or so we have been told."

― Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind.

Grieve not

Grieve not, for you shall be smiling soon,
Rather, cherish each moment that you live - it is a boon,
And glorious sunshine does await the bitter moon.

The bigger picture

Discarding the oft adopted parochial view,
Does frequently lead to happiness new,
Why is our thinking so constrained,
Why is everything a matter of lost or gained?
If we would not, everything, thus scale,
If we could forget the petty detail,
And focus rather on the bigger picture,
Our sorrows would be fewer, our joys richer.

What then?

The other day, I was just thinking of some of my long cherished dreams. Now that I do see the path of fulfilling a few of them (oh ok, just one of them), a few thoughts crept into my mind. These were unlike any others that I'd felt before. I thought of what it would be like if I achieved something that I'd dreamt of for a long time. As with anything momentous, there is always the niggling doubt of "what if this doesn't turn out to be all that I thought this would be?". Also, with achieving dreams, there is also the feeling of "so I've gone and achieved what I always dreamt of...what now?"

The thoughts of mine found absolute resonance amongst the unlikeliest of people: Princess Rapunzel from Tangled. I was watching Tangled just the other day, and there's this scene where Rapunzel 's finally about to see the flying lanterns, and she wonders out aloud to Flynn Rider about what's troubling her. Here is that portion transcribed. Flynn's answer to it is also the answer to my thoughts indeed:

Rapunzel: I've been looking out of a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it's not everything I dreamed it would be? 

Flynn: It will be.
Rapunzel: And what if it is? What do I do then?
Flynn: Well,that's the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.  

Awesome ain't it :)...got me over my pondering and ready to pursue my dream :)...Full steam ahead!! 

How we change

A long while back,
I'd look into the mirror,
And find a familiar face,
Staring back intently.
We'd have our conversations,
This face and me,
We shared dreams and hopes,
We shared smiles and tears.

But as time passed,
As so happens with friends dear,
We fell apart,
And steadily grew the distance between us...

The other day, I was looking at the mirror,
And hark, what do I see,
The face was back,
And was staring at me.

Overjoyed at finding my long lost friend,
I hugged him close,
"Where were you all this while", I asked,
"Why did you disappear in the past?"

A smile fluttered across his lips,
"I was right here", he said,
"Watching over you,
Looking at you change.
It was you who'd lost sight of me,
Yet, now that you need me,
Here I am, right be your side,
I will, forever, with you abide."
 
His biting words stung me,
For they carried with them the bitter truth,
I'd come a long way in the recent past,
But here was I friendship that I sure wanted to last.

Over time, oh, how we change,
But it will serve us all, to not, the real us estrange.

Zindagi Na Mile Doobaara

Just back from watching "Zidagi Na Mile Doobaara" with friends, and these verses by Javed Akhtar are beautifully penned:

Jab jab dard ka baadal chaya,
Jab ghum ka saya lehraya,
Jab aansoo palkon tak aya,
Jab yeh tanha dil ghabraya,
Humne dil ko yeh samjhaya,

...Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai,
Duniya mein yunhi hota hai,

Yeh jo gehre sannate hain,
Waqt ne sabko hi baante hain,
Thoda ghum hai sabka qissa,
Thodi dhoop hai sabka hissa,
Aankh teri bekaar hi nam hai,
Har pal ek naya mausam hai,
Kyun tu aise pal khota hai,
Dil aakhir tu kyun rota hai

***

I'll try to do a cheap copy of them to English here:

Whenever clouds of anguish filled the sky,
Whenever bouts of sadness fluttered by,
Whenever tears welled up in my eye,
Whenever did my lonely heart sigh,
I sang to it, this lullaby:

Dear heart, why do you cry?
This is how the world is, aye.

The unbearable silence you feel,
Time, to all, does fairly deal,
Each is, with periods of gloom served,
Each has, portions of sunshine reserved,
So, wipe off the tears, for they are undeserved,
Every moment is a breath of fresh air,
Why then, do you waste time that is rare,
Dear heart, why do you, so badly fare?

Grant me, O Lord

O Lord, grant me,
The will to do what is right,
The wisdom to not, other's slight,
The courage to put my neck on the line,
The conviction to believe it'll all be fine.

Transience

A life so fleeting,
Temporary and brief,
From the cut umbilical,
To embalmed feet.

The sound of silence

The faculties of the mind,

Be too inadequate to comprehend,

Tunes that the heart beats out,

While lips remain silent.

A life not so certain

(Photo by Tony)

If we knew how our fate would unfold,
If we knew what does the future hold,
Would everything still remain the same?
Would we risk being singed by the flame?

Tying up loose ends

As if it were that feeling of relief,
At the dying down of the nagging voice within,
The contentment at having completed a book,
Than placing a bookmark, that strikes the eye,
When opening other ones that rest nearby,
The serenity of having tied up loose ends.

Living in the moment

While all this may seem preachy, this is primarily written as a note to self. So please bear :).

Sometimes it would appear that the entire world is conspiring against you when, in fact, it is just one's mind playing the odd trick; for, such times of suffering/solitude/[insert the sad feeling you've experienced most recently here] have the capacity to contort the mind of (wo)men - to turn them to thoughts completely contrived.

While such times can be testing, remember that what doesn't kill only makes one stronger. Perhaps all this is just a lesson - a rite of passage - to adulthood. Perhaps there will come a time when one will look back at all of this with a smile on the face.

Till such a time comes, we are better served by focusing on the present - living the moment. Things that have happened in the past (especially not-so-pleasant occurrences) are best forgotten as a general rule. This rule acquires greater significance in testing times, when, if not heeded to, often leads to people getting stuck in a rut; a maelstrom of never-ending melancholy. Living in the moment, experiencing whatever life throws at you, embracing whatever life presents you with, is the way out of the quagmire of testing times methinks.

The unbearable lightness of being

Just going over some books that I'd like to read, got my hands on this pithily put analysis of the philosophical underpinnings of the book The Unbearable Lightness of Being(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Unbearable_Lightness_of_Being) :

The German expression, Einmal ist keinmal (once is nothing) encapsulates “lightness,” the concept of which is well expressed in the quote: “what happens but once, might as well not have happened at all. If we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all.” Following this logic, life is insignificant, and decisions do not matter, and are thus rendered light, because they do not cause personal suffering. Yet the insignificance of decisions — our being — causes us great suffering, perceived as the unbearable lightness of being consequent to one’s awareness of life occurring once and never again; thus no one person’s actions are universally significant. This insignificance is existentially unbearable when it is considered that people want their lives to have transcendent meaning.

Can't get myself to stop and marvel and the immense wisdom and "heaviness" that the lines above carry. A beautifully poignant point of view of life.

The things that matter

I've often wondered of what are things that truly matter to me. I find that such a thought generally leads to one taking a step back and examining where one currently stands from a somewhat lesser parochial angle. Rather than being caught up in thinking about one's day to day problems, this allows one to focus on the bigger questions of life as a whole. Its a fruitful exercise, I feel, and I espouse you folks to try it sometime. You'll be pleasantly surprised :).

Does it all even matter?

Despite it all,
Life chugs along,
Adversity is a passing phase,
Take it in your stride,
Broaden your gaze,
Embrace life,
Forgetting strife,
Some times are difficult indeed,
Things not always turn out as you need,
Woe befalls, dreams shatter,
Yet, in His grand design -
In the larger scheme of things,
Does it all even matter?

Tomorrow

A new day, a new way,
New vistas, new scenes,
Places and situations new.
Solutions many, hurdles just a few...
All this, and more,
Does tomorrow bring,
Full of promise and hope,
Does the new day spring.

Reminding one of the fact,
That life is in full flow,
And that one should renew one's self-made pact,
On harbored aspirations, act.
To pave the way for a future,
In which one has a say,
For tomorrow dawns a brand new day.

Time Dilation

Why is it,
That, when you desire most,
Does time come to a standstill;
All but halts?

You will it on,
To just skip a few ticks,
Yet, never does you it obey.
It always has its own way.

Its hard, it really is,
To watch time slide by slowly,
As you, there stand,
Helpless, hand in hand.

Wish that there was a knob,
That could give you some control,
To the sands of time,
To bend them to your will...
Alas...

Hope

Guess I've written something similar in the past too...but still...:)

****

When all seems lost,
And all seems bleak,
Never abandon hope,
Its always there -
The silver lining,
Amidst the dark clouds,
The solitary leaf,
On the barren tree,
The occasional smile,
Amidst the tears.

Cling onto it,
Through all your struggles,
And then, one day,
It'll be spring again.
The sun will shine through,
The leaves will unfurl,
And the smile will return.

Of life and passing moments

Sometimes, moments that are past,
So wonderfully beautiful were they,
We wish they'd, a bit longer, last,
That we'd hold onto them, forever.
But alas, man ain't so clever...

Yet, don't we all, sometimes wish,
We could make time stop,
Make it obey us for just a bit -
To take one particular moment,
And have it eternally persist.

While the pragmatist within us,
Shouts out with all his might,
Telling us, this ain't right.

But, in such moments fleeting,
Everything seems so perfect,
It all seems so rightly decked,
We're at a loss to see,
How being pragmatic would serve us better,
Than being what the heart is crying out to be.

Memories

The breeze brushing lightly against your face,
Carrying with it, the mild fragrance of blossoming flowers;
Bringing back memories of those by-gone days,
Of childhood, when, with friends you'd play,
Hide and seek amongst these swaying trees.

The falling droplets of rain,
Continuously rippling the lake,
Taking you back to the days when,
Scantily clad in just your shorts and tee,
You'd float paper boats in these waters.

The ice cold water caressing your feet,
As it runs melodiously down the ravine,
Sending shivers down your spine; electrifying,
Reminding you, of true love's first kiss.
These are memories to cherish - of pure bliss.

Moving on...

***WTJ***

It seems hard to forget,
The times together spent,
Of borrowed sorrows, of loaned smiles,
Of memorable talks and walked miles,

And as the time to depart draws near,
You are filled with a new found fear,
For once, the choice seems a terrible mistake,
And you repent why did you, this decision take.
And as people bid goodbye,
You finds it impossible to not cry.

All seems so bleak and dreary then,
Its hard to imagine the near future when,
Putting all this behind, the past you forget,
And no longer do you, the decision regret.

You might not feel so now,
But time heals the deepest of wounds,
And that day will soon surely dawn,
The day when you'd have moved on...

/*
For you'll soon have found friends anew,
Friends who treat you even better than we do,
(Ok the commented part is perhaps not true :P)
*/

Little did I know

Little did I know,
How hard it'd be,
Following one's dreams,
Amidst the struggle to satisfy,
This so called society.

Little did I know,
That the so called norms,
Would be binding shackles,
Chafing away,
Once cherished ideals.

Little did I know,
That convictions too,
Would falter with time,
And prudence bordering on being risk-free,
Would be taken as coming-of-age.

How I dearly wish,
For all this acquired worldly wisdom,
To be replaced by childish impulsiveness,
And the unwavering conviction,
To follow my dreams,
Wherever they may lead...

My muse

**
This poem arises from having watched DDLJ again (after a looong time I might add) -- specifically this poem from Simran's diary:

Aisa Pehli baar hua hai in satra athra saalon main
Andekha Anjana koi aane laga khayalon main
Aankhon ki khidki par ek saya sa lehrata hai
Dil ke darwaje par koi dastak de ke jaata hai
Ghehri bhuri aankhein mujhse mera naam poochti hai
Haathon ki lakiron main kiska chehra ban jaata hai
Uski saasein resham jaisi mere galo ko chu jaati hai
Uske haathon ki khusbu ab tak mere balo main hain...
Haan Aisa Pehli baar hua hai in satra athra saalon main
Andekha Anjana koi aane laga khayalon main
**

Her silky locks unfettered,
Swaying in the gentle breeze.
Her childlike smile, intoxicating laughter,
Filling people around her with joy.
Her honey-sweet voice,
Infusing the air with melody pristine.
Tender and loving her gaze.
Right before me she stands.
My enchantress, mon amour...

I reach out towards her, arms outstretched.
To hold her in a loving embrace,
To run my hands down her tender face.
But ere I can touch her the slightest,
Does she fade away into nothingness;
So does my dream ripple away,
So does my muse disappear,
A mere figment of my imagination;
Yet, the tormentor of my dreams.